100% Human. Definitely Not A Robot.

Everywhere I go, someone discovers that I am in fact a robot. It’s unfortunate, because I feel like I do a pretty good job on my human performance. I put a lot of effort into it. But real humans can just tell.

Sometimes it’s my complete lack of empathy or comprehension of social customs that does me in. Occasionally it’s my unnerving flat affect. It was once my commitment to a logical and philosophical life. Sometimes I get outed when I get stuck in a loop and insist on explaining my current pet topic to people who, when my emotional response evaluation unit is functioning properly, I can tell would like me to stop talking and go away.

But I like being a robot, actually, insofar as robots like things. So, that’s ok. But I think I might be more convincing with one of those 100% Human shirts, so I bought myself one. Perhaps that’s something only a robot would believe, but I think it will help.